Greetings Comrades,
It has been a good long while since I've checked in here, 5 months I believe. It's been an event filled winter. Now that the sun has returned and brought warmth along with it, it feels like a new chapter has begun. As all of you know, for some time now I've intended to return home this August. But after some heavy deliberation, I've decided to postpone my return for yet another year. Even for myself it was a sudden and surprising turn of events.
The decision came about in late February after a conference held in Yokohama for JET participants that were planning to return to their respective countries of origin, this August.
The conference was aimed at preparing returning JET's for re-entry topics covered include: possible reverse culture shock, current hiring trends in the job market, applying to grad school, spinning the skill set you've developed on JET to sell yourself to potential employers. It was well organized, but mainly geared towards those pursuing careers in the education, non-profit, and business and financial sectors. None of the information presented was relevant to someone intending to pursue a career in art and design. I left the conference, with the understanding that my return home was imminent and my vague plan for returning needed a more solid form.
When I arrived back in Ena, I spent the weekend researching the current state of the illustration market, career opportunities, grad school, etc... It was daunting, intimidating, but at the same time inspiring. Then fortuitously i stumbled upon a link for a school that piqued my interest. During my research, I found myself becoming increasingly excited about the prospect of returning to school and expanding my skill set. I found the tuition and the time commitment required to be more than reasonable; The only downside was that The application deadline for this fall had already come and went. Thats when staying another year came into consideration. The choice was to go home, build a portfolio, watch my savings slowly deplete and then apply for the school next spring. Or stay, build a portfolio, which due to other commitments will have to be lesser in scale, but at the same time continue to save and by the end of the year have enough to pay the tuition in full. Dan received a frantic call from me around that time, and graciously listened as I aired my thoughts. He provided a fair amount of insight, for which I'm grateful. So After a couple more phone calls and few long solitary strolls about the country side, I decided to commit myself to another year in Japan.
It's my hope that my remaining time here will be prove to be creatively productive. With the the application to be turned in early February of 2012, I now have a concrete deadline to work towards. And while to a certain extent I'm a self starter, when resolved to working towards a tangible goal the impetus to create is far stronger than what I can generally muster.
Having made the decision to stay, I promptly set about finishing up some pieces that have been lingering around my studio. Following the "house cleaning" I've got a slew of new ideas, that I'll be fleshing out over the next year. Soon I'll be re-establishing an online presence. Most likely in the form of a blog seeing as at this moment I don't have a enough new work to merit a website overhaul. But the intent is to have the enough work by the next spring to revamp my site. For now, I'll leave the artistic murmurings aside and reserve those insights for my soon to be blog.
I'm sorry that I didn't inform you sooner of my plans to stay, It was my intent to do so but I found my swept up in the ebb and flow of life. I am however coming home for a visit this summer; from August 12th-September 1st, to be exact. It's blows me away thinking that It's been over 2 years since I've returned to California. I'm eagerly anticipating re-uniting with my family and friends and it's my hope that I'll have the opportunity to spend plenty of time with all of you.
Before my trip home, I intend to volunteer in Northern Japan. I'll be assisting in the disaster relief, doing whatever might be required of me. The earthquake and tsunami occurred over 3 months ago, while the images have mostly faded from the media and life continues on as normal here, the north is still a wasteland. People continue to live in shelters, the self defense force is engaged in an ongoing search for missing bodies, machines have been employed to clear the rubble in larger civic centers, but the individual citizens are on their own when it comes to salvaging what remains of their homes. I can't fathom how daunting the task might seem, rebuilding your life, having seemingly lost everything you've worked to attain; with the added burden in many instances of having lost some, if not all, of your loved ones. I know volunteering isn't for everyone, but I can't deny the emotions that have been tugging at my heart. I'm not even sure my actions will accomplish that much, I'll most likely be shoveling toxic waste out of peoples houses. But even that has merit.
Imagine that your spirits are broken, you look at your house littered with debris, covered in a black sludge ( a fermentation of oil, gas, thousands of unknown chemicals concocted in the raging waters of the tsunami.) and you think to yourself, "where do i begin? And then imagine, that in a days time, through the collective work of 10 people, the house you thought unsalvageable is clear of debris and sludge. It starts to take on the semblance of the home you remember. Yes, it's only a beginning and yes there's much more work to be done. But, perhaps the task of rebuilding your life will seem a little less daunting. Then again, perhaps, I'm being idealistic. I do know however, that i spend a shit load of time doing nothing but sitting on my ass in an air conditioned room for the duration of the summer, occasionally making trips to schools to play with bratty kids who try to penetrate my ass with their fingers. With everything that's gone on up north I feel that my time can be better spent attempting to give assistance to those who need it.
Before wrapping this up there's one more major event worth noting. Nancy returned to America last week and with her departure came the end of our year and a half relationship. We established from the onset that we would only remain together while we were in the same place. Given my experience with long distance relationships I felt it best not to put myself in that situation again. Despite knowing the time would come, it still didn't make it any less difficult. Even though the split was on more than amicable terms, it's hard to lose a companion especially one you've invested so much of yourself into. I find myself facing a range of emotions I haven't experienced in years. Needless to say, her absence has been felt these past two weeks. It's hard to come home to any empty home, to not be able to share my the events of my day with her. I've been filling the silence by watching a slew of movies and various television series'. Not the most productive way of passing the time. But I'm not too concerned. I do find solace however, in knowing that we made the most of our time together. We had a profound effect on one another and while the romantic aspect of our relationship has come to a close, I'm certain she will be in my life for years to come.
My relationship with Nancy was the second major romantic relationship of my life. It made me realize how much another human being can contribute to my happiness, how much i had been missing out on. As I grow older frequently find myself thinking about companionship. I have a great many goals and in the past those goals have tended to take priority in my life. I've come to realize that while accomplishing those goals may bring me some satisfaction, it's the bonds that I forge with people that are a true source of happiness. As you all know, I can be sociable when the occasion calls for it, but at my core I'm a recluse. I don't mean to make presumptions but, I think all of us on this blog are similar in that sense. We only let a select few people into our lives. I can't speak for you, but I'm not sure that will ever change for me. But then it's not about the quantity of people I may know, it's about the quality. I have a core group of people that I truly value and love dearly. And that's enough for me. With Nancy I've added another person to that group. And Perhaps in the future I will let my guard down a bit more readily and allow for the possibility of romance, allow my self to love.
Well, that's about all I have to say. I've posted a drawing I recently completed. I'm currently working on color studies and would appreciate any input you might have regarding composition or value structure prior to taking it to finish. I've also just completed work on a logo to be used here in Japan for a local Hamburger shop. The owner is also looking to expand his business to America, so perhaps in the future we'll see the logo representing the business' state side endeavors. I can't post it just yet, but will do as soon as I can.
This email is a testament to how much can come to pass in the course of half a year. I'm sure a great many events have come to pass in your lives. I know some of you have moved, or are in the process of moving, ended jobs and started new jobs...I'd love to hear about the goings on in your lives. If time doesn't permit, don't worry. Hopefully we'll have the opportunity to catch up face to face in August.
Nyk, I'm happy to hear you're fulfilled by the work your doing. Thanks for always being so diligent in posting. Your far more active hear than I am. Sorry it's taken me so long to post.
Haven't been reading much as of late, but here's what I've been listening to .
Auditory Hallucinations:
Battles- Gloss Drop
Hooray for Earth- True Loves
Gil Scott-Heron & Jamie xx- We're New Here
Gang Gang Dance- Eye Contact
Man Man- Life Fantastic
2pac- Entire Discography
Haushcka- Salon Des Amatuers
Toro y Moi- Underneath the Pine.
Bon Iver- Bon Iver
Dan, By the way I really dug the last batch of metal you recommended (Intronaut, Yakuza, and Mouth of the Architect.) Any new Recommendations.
Driving west on either 18 or 22 out of Portland.
More of the same.