Rambling Man

I was overwhelmed by the blog love that came as a result of my last post. It prompted everyone to respond in a relatively short period of time with some very heartfelt posts. I felt Dan appropriately summed up the function of this space, "I've considered this blog to be strangely therapeutic. It strikes a good balance between being available publicly, but mainly viewed (I think) by close friends that I know well - it's a journal entry that other people can see." I value this space for just that reason.

Since writing my last post I've had some form of contact with everyone that frequently posts here sans Erek. I happened to catch Nyk online a while back and we both had a spare moment to chat, a pleasant surprise to say the least. Dan and I managed to work in a much needed, long over due, online e-bagging, which proved therapeutic. Most surprising of all though is the recent news i received from Darin via email, in which she divulged that she'll be making and impromptu trip to Japan at the end of May. I'm excited to see a familiar face and share the my life in Japan with a dear friend. More on Darin's trip to Japan will surely pop up in a later post.

In my last post I talked extensively about achieving balance in my life. I hoped that much sought after balance might continue on into 2010, regretfully that's not the case. Soon after my post in January my nasal cavity was besieged by bacteria. The ensuing month of February was spent engaged in an epic battle to reclaim un-imposed respiratory control. Finally around the first week of March things began to get better, though my coming into wellness coincided with allergy season so i couldn't quite tell if i had successfully kicked the ailment. Through out the whole ordeal i became very aware of how frail our physical bodies are. To a certain extent i've taken for granted the resilience that comes along with being young. But the prolonged illness made me very conscious that such resilience is fleeting; that as i age my capacity to heal or overcome ailments as rapidly steadily declines. I realized that i want to live a long healthy life and the best means to do so is to actively maintain my wellness.

So I've been making minor tweaks to my life style in order to just that. I think Dan is aware of this, but I managed to quite smoking. It's been about a year actually. Beyond that I've taken to exercising on a regular schedule. I do about 40 minutes of cardio roughly 3 to 4 times a week. I also do some some light weight lifting. Given the circumstances I'm no longer vegetarian. I regularly eat meat since it is usually served in school meals. Though recently I have become interested in nutrition. I've become increasingly fascinated with the body, it's complexity, how what we consume on a daily basis affects us physically and emotionally. And so while not a vegetarian I'm still very conscious of the foods that I eat on a daily basis. I'm by no means turning into a health nut, i still allow myself to get down and decadent on occasion.

February's illness derailed me and even now i haven't been able to regain the momentum that i had coming into 2010. But some positive realizations came about nonetheless. My Japanese studying has slowed significantly, my thoughts on this waver on a daily basis. I've had this driving goal to pass the Japanese Language Proficiency Test level 2. In doing so, i would be considered fluent enough to hold a job in Japan if that ever came to pass. Though there is no certainty that once i leave here, Japan will play a larger role in my future-- a possibility yes, a certainty no. Lately I've been thinking about opportunity costs, the amount of time i will have to commit to passing the test and wether or not that time is more valuable when applied to something else, say my illustration career. At this point my Japanese is at a conversational level, it opens doors, it allows me to foster relationships with my students. So i've begun thinking perhaps thats enough. Do i really need to be able to read 1000 kanji fluently so i can successfully read a newspaper? Regardless there is no doubt that i'll continue to advance in my language abilities, from this point i just need to determine how much i want to commit myself to achieving fluency.

It's interesting how a weeks time and a significant shift in weather can affect ones mind frame. Last week i was ready to write about how i felt a renewed commitment to my art and wanted to channel my energies in that direction. But at that time it was still cold and escaping indoors, committing with fervor to knocking out a new portfolio seemed ever so appealing. Now the temperature has risen into the 80's, the days have gotten longer and i want nothing to do with being confined to the indoors. Especially after having endured such a long winter.

Looking over this blog I can't help but realize how much i seem to fluctuate on my commitment to things; part of me wants to be here in Japan living, experiencing, another part of me wants to be growing an artist, constantly creating, while another part of me wants to master a language. The central conflict though is one of living in the moment vs. living for the future. Currently i want to be here, allowing myself to experience Japan and all of the possibilities that come along wit this rare opportunity. With that said, I've just purchased a ticket to India! Come August, I'll be trekking to the sub-continent for 3 weeks. This mind frame, as always, is likely to waver. Come fall I'll likely be rearing to paint and formulating a plan of attack for my return home in August of 2011. For now though, thoughts of what to do once i get home can wait. There are things amazing things to be done and even more amazing experiences to be had and i don't want to regret not allowing myself to live those experiences.

I repeatedly state how i want to commit more whole heartedly to frequently posting on this space, but rarely does that desire come to fruition. It's been nearly 3 months already since my last post. Judging by the depth and thought that we all give to a post though, the frequency seems of little significance. I know that at some point I'll post and following that, when time permits, some one will respond and eventually the cycle will complete itself. In reading the musings on our respective situations as well as our mental and emotional states, i continually feel honored to have you all i as friends. And i always look forward to hearing more, regardless of when that i might be.

This post goes off in all sorts of directions and lacks any real cohesion, but i guess that reflects my current state. I want to be everywhere, doing everything, yet can commit to nothing.

Ears,

LCD soundsystem- This is Happening

Caribou- Swim

Broken Social Scene- Forgiveness Rock Record

Crystal Castles- Crystal Castles (2010)

The National- High Violet

Otis Redding- The Dock of the Bay

Fats Domino- The Best of Fats Domino

Ray Charles- The Very Best of Ray Charles

Patha Du Prince- Black Noise

Reading

Malcom Gladwell- Tipping Point

Ernest Hemingway - A Farewell to Arms

Ernest Hemingway - Fiesta: The Sun Also Rises

Great finds on the Web:

http://www.openculture.com/ (amazing resource for any number of things)

http://www.ted.com/ (great lectures on a variety of topics)

http://www.stumbleupon.com/

(most of the places i've been redirected to have managed to capture my interest)

http://justbento.com/ (I've been cooking quite a bit lately and I came across this great bento site)